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I start laughing - of course whoever it was gave up just as Ifinally find the darn phone. I check the caller ID out of habit, and thelaughter fades as I see his number staring back at me, mocking me. As usual, my timing is off. Immediately I call backand am answered with only the ceaseless ringing of the phone on the other end,reminding me that his availability is sporadic at best. I sit among the half-unpacked boxes, suddenly drained. I'm tired, oh-so-tired, both physically and emotionally. It hitsme when I least expect it, and the only thing that seems to help is sleep. So I stumble back to my bed and lay there, waiting for sleep to overtakeand heal me. But the one time I crave it, need it desperately, sleepfails to come for me. I lay there, exhausted, too tenseto sleep. Relax, I try to tell myself, just relax and sleep willfollow. Twenty minutes later and not only am I drained, I'mfrustrated as well. My mind is racing and it won't let go of the thoughtsenough to let me. Once you quit screwing, she was the big sister and you the little brother. And I don’t mean anything by that, if you know what I mean. It’s been like that since she and Pete got back together, and it’s fun to watch.”“Pete agrees with you, because I can say things he never could. Well, not if he wants to stay alive!”“True. Are you really OK with all of these changes? I mean, really?”“I am. I’ve embraced the new me. The only thing I need to do is make sure I don’t take it too far and end up like that customer I told you about before. But I have Jesse and Matthew to knock me down a peg or two when necessary, not to mention my friends.”“I noticed you didn’t mention your daughter.”“And what are the chances that my Pumpkin will ever say one word against her dad?”“Zero.”“Exactly. So all of this brings us to a decision I need to make.”“I can find my own place,” Bethany said. “The salary for the director is sufficient to live comfortably. And I’ve saved most of my income since Nick’s death,.
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